I had started writing a post for today, which was all about my experience trying to buy a video camera so that I can begin my role as John and Hank Green’s secret sister . . . and believe me, it was quite the tale. But all of that is being pushed to the side because of this e-mail I just received from Ninja Librarian Susan Hunt of the Bartlesville, Oklahoma school district:

For the past several weeks a committee headed by Mrs. Janet Vernon, Executive Director of Secondary Instruction for Bartlesville Public Schools, has been reconsidering the YA novel The Bermudez Triangle by Maureen Johnson. A challenge to the book was submitted to the school board on March 4, 2007. Yesterday, the Mid-High Principal and I appeared before the committee at 10:45. By 2:00 this afternoon, I was informed by [a BHS librarian and committee member] that the decision has been made to pull the book from the Mid-High library.

Well, well, well. Looks like I went and got myself banned! Apparently I have written something so dangerous that it can’t be contained on the shelf of a high school library.

Now, if you’d said that FREE MONKEY couldn’t be contained in a high school library, you’d have a point. But my book? Really? Ninja Librarian Susan says that she has been working in this school for around 19 years, and this is the first objection that has ever been raised there.

For those of you who don’t know it (which is going to be a lot of you), The Bermudez Triangle is about three girls, all incredibly close friends, and what happens when one of them goes away for the summer and the other two begin a relationship. The story is really about what happens to friendship when you start dating. That two of the characters are female and dating is not the entire focus of the book, but it is a fun chunk of it. There is no sex in the book. There is kissing. And a lot of studying and student counsel meetings and working in chain restaurants.

I was permitted to see the objection that caused this to happen, and it sort of took my breath away. Even Free Monkey got quiet for a moment, and it wasn’t his usual thoughtful quiet. One parent saw the book, and this is what she had to say in a letter to the school. I’ve reprinted the entire text as it was given to me, removing only the names:

I’m shocked and appalled at the lack of discretion, and moral decline in the selection of books at the Mid-High library. Homosexual content, unprotected sex, underage drinking, and reckless promiscuity are not values that belong in a school library. I understand there are parents or teens who are dealing with these issues, but not all parents want their kids exposed to this material. Personally, I would not endorse any of these types of book as “14-and-15-year-old-friendly.” Giving teenagers knowledge without guidance is irresponsible and dangerous. As a parent, I screen my 15-year-old’s television, Internet, video game, magazines, and books. There are things she’s not mature enough to handle, or are simply wrong for her. Parents are a child’s best line of defense in a world that rushes to grow them up too soon. This book, “The Bermudez Triangle” has no moral fiber, and wrongly promotes a “do whomever you want to discover yourself” mentality. There’s no mention of the myriad of diseases, pregnancy, destruction of friendships and lives that are very real consequences of a “sexual free-for-all” decision. I ask that his material be removed at once. You have a responsibility to the children at school to protect them and educate them. Let’s raise the bar a little higher, respect moral values and a parent’s right to guard that which has been entrusted to their care.

YOWZA! This is the most badass I have ever felt! I think . . . I think I like it!

No moral fiber? Really? I beg to differ. The book is entirely about what happens to friendships when relationships enter the picture. That is, in fact, the whole book. Since there is no sex in it (just some kissing), pregnancy is not really an issue. I would have brought it up if there had been. Maybe the writer of this letter does not know how babies are made. She could probably use a book on the subject.

The idea that Bermudez is a “sexual free for all” is a joke. My mother read Bermudez—the same mother who wouldn’t let me wear denim skirts and who still tells me the stork brought me—and said, “I can’t see why anyone would object to this book.”

I’ll move on to the form that went with this (called a Citizen’s Request for Removal of Instructional Materials, which is a scary sounding form right there), the one that prompted the removal. I got a scanned copy of the handwritten note, so I couldn’t make it all out. Here are the highlights:

Q: To what material do you object?

A: Homosexual content, unsuitable for children (pages 105 and 363), and underage drinking

I was immediately tantalized by the prospect of “unsuitable content,” and had to go look up those pages. I was left baffled. They aren’t even kissing pages. They’re just people talking.

As for the other concerns . . . sadly, it was what I was expecting. I was really hoping that there was going to be some really creative objection, like that I was discriminating against Bennigan’s. (P.J. Mortimer’s, the restaurant that Avery and Mel work at, is a direct mockery of this chain and its fake Irish food.) I would have been interested in reading a spirited defense of the Blooming Onion. Instead, it sounds like garden variety homophobia.

DID YOU KNOW: that the blooming onion is not actually Australian? And that it is Spike’s (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) favorite snack, aside from kittens? Sadly, the letter mentions none of these facts.

Q: In place of this material, would you recommend other material which you consider to be of superior quality?

A: I recommend a Bible, or other morally + ethically sound material.

I think there should be Bibles in libraries, for sure. But I think there should be other books too, you know, for variety. That’s what makes it a library, as opposed to a Bible repository. It’s part of being . . . oh what’s the term I’m searching for . . . oh right. A democratic society, with freedom of belief.

Look, I’m not saying The Bermudez Triangle is the greatest book ever written. It’s not. I happen to like it, but if you don’t, it’s okay. If you want to criticize the writing, by all means do so. I can take it. Maybe I’ll even learn something. But this single person is trying to get it removed simply because it talks about homosexuality. Forget the sex thing. There isn’t any.

I happen to find homophobia shocking and appalling. I think it is morally corrupt. I would like to see it removed. Where is my form?

And from this, a committee was called. People had to go and defend the book because of this form and letter. And they lost the effort. The committee decided this objection made sense. I’d laugh if it wasn’t so alarming.

I think that book banning is like mold. You have to stop it before it takes over and contaminates everything. So here is what I plan on doing:

1. First, I’ll be taking a note from the excellent Chris Crutcher and sending a whole bunch of Bermudezes to the local public library in this area. I’ll send some Devilishes as well, just to keep up the theme of evil.

2. I’m going to try to find out exactly who was on this committee, and see if I can talk to them about why they thought it was a good idea to remove Bermudez from their shelves. Let’s chat, people. If you happen to see this, I invite you to get in touch.

Also, make sure to have a look at As If!–Author’s Supporting Intellectual Freedom. I’m a member, along with many other excellent writers. The lead post right now about the two girls kissing . . . it ties into this sadly well. How do we stop this nonsense?

Maybe by supporting the fabulous Human Rights Campaign. That could help.

Book banning sucks. Homophobia sucks.

Free Monkey agrees: Let’s raise the bar a little higher. Please chime in with your ideas–about book banning, what video camera I should buy, the blooming onion, and FREEDOM! Or anything else. I won’t object.

My friends the movie people have made this wonderful graphic, which pretty much sums up what I am thinking.

UPDATE: read the continuing adventures of the Bartlesville showdown here.

Posted: Friday, April 27th, 2007 @ 10:03 pm
Categories: blooming onions, book banning, things that suck.
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