First order of business: let’s give out a SUITE SCARLETT!

In case you are wondering how the winner was chosen, I wrote every name down and put them in a FESTIVE TIN. Then I had my mother, who is a registered nurse and therefore deeply impartial, reach her hand in and draw out a slip of paper. The entire event was witnessed by my lawyer, C. Catso Fangola, who proclaimed it fair and legally sound.

And the winner was . . .

flinn said…
You know, I think a copy of the book would instill just the right amount of Christmas Cheer in me.

Flinn! It’s CHEER time! Please send me your address posthaste!

Okay. There are two copies left now. Today’s opportunity to win contains a CHALLENGE!

This is Amazon’s Young Adult Lit forum. It has 8 discussions, and is kind of making me sad. Here’s a great place people could be talking about YA, and seasoned YA readers like you could be giving recommendations! Instead, it’s a weak little thread or two. The only conversation that’s really booming over there is the “IS PHILIP PULLMAN TRYING TO KILL GOD???” one, and frankly, it’s making me tired. So very tired, friends.

So, here’s the plot . . .

Start a discussion on this forum about YA books. If you want it to be about one of mine, that’s great! If you want to talk about what Keith wears under his kilt in 13 Little Blue Envelopes, or how Clio deals with the jellyfish in Girl At Sea, or Jane’s problem with red foods in Devilish, or if you would like to live in a New York hotel like Scarlett . . . do so! I’d love it!

BUT . . . I’m not saying TALK ABOUT ME FOR DAYS ON END! I’m saying . . . talk YA! Talk about great books! Talk about censorship and your thoughts on removing books from school libraries!

The winner of this contest will be the person who can start and continue the most active conversation by noon, New Year’s Eve! (Suite Scarlett also has her own little sad forum, in which one kind person tried to start a conversation. I will also count conversations here.)

Let me answer any anticipated questions about this.

Q: What do you mean by “most active”?
A: Literally, the one with the most posts. But that doesn’t mean you should post a topic and then answer yourself 134 times, because Amazon will get mad and maybe even erase the thread. You CAN, however, come back and moderate, answering things that people have written. It is YOUR discussion! Keep your discussion lively! Poke it with a stick!

Q: So, if I talk on someone else’s discussion, won’t I improve their chances of winning?
A: Yes, you will. But that might mean they’ll come over and talk on YOURS. And the important thing is . . . you are expressing your views! The YA community is strong, like bull! Talk amongst yourselves! Share your knowledge and views!

Q: Hey, wait. Isn’t it true that you can only post on an Amazon discussion if you or someone who uses your family computer has purchased items from Amazon?
A: Um . . . yes. This is the only drawback of this plan, and one I thought long and hard about. I decided to go ahead with it because . . . A.) I think that forum really does need a swift kick. B.) a lot of people have purchased things from Amazon, so lots of people will be able to do this. C.) I have a special plan to help make things right for anyone who is excluded. I am having another contest on New Year’s Eve, and anyone who was left out will get special treatment!

Q: Will you participate in the discussion?
A: If I have something to say, then YES! I will check on them regularly to see what, if anything, is going on! Because . . . maybe nothing will happen!

Q: How will you know which discussions have anything to do with this contest?
A: I’m counting any that start from this point. There are only eight so far on YA, and one on Suite Scarlett. So it should be pretty easy to see who’s who!

Now, since it is still ASK MJ TWO MONTHS AND A FEW DAYS, let’s get to the questions . . . .

jez said…
I’ve got a plan for you. Okay, buy JK some snacks, say they’re for Christmas. Hide them somewhere far away from your house and send her on a Nerdfightery scavenger hunt. Draw it out with as many clues as you can and you won’t see her for awhile!

I haven’t seen her since the night of the jam jar. It makes me nervous. And you know what . . . I think it’s more than just the snacks themselves. I think she likes MY snacks in particular. She seems to derive real pleasure from jumping out and scaring me, and then raiding the cabinet. I’m going back to England in a little over a week to go back to work on the Secret Project, and I’m a little nervous about that too . . . since she always seems to know when I fly.

In any case, Jez, I’ll try it . . . but when JK has it out for you, like she seems to have it out for me . . . there isn’t a lot you can do about it.

bria said…
how do you get rid of JK? One word Afghanistan. I think you know what i mean

I don’t think this would even do it. You don’t understand . . . this is a woman who chases Alan Rickman in a small plane and lurks on the grounds of his house with infrared specs.

kayli said…
So today my brother and I were discussing ridiculous rich people, and I said, “You know, J.K. Rowling owns a dolphin.” And then I couldn’t remember if that was true or if it was something from your conversations with J.K. (not to imply that those are in any way anything other than the truest truth.)

I did say that. She told me about her dolphin, Fatso, when she snuck up on me on my flight back to New York a few weeks ago. He lives in a tank on her roof. Naturally, I am telling this truth about this. I am always truthy.

lily said…
Hi Maureen! Merry day after Christmas! I received my Scarlett card in the mail yesterday. It is awesome. It is sitting on my dresser where it will not be damaged. Scarlett taunts me now though. She says, ‘You won’t get to read me until May. That’s more than 5 months from now. You should try to win a advanced copy from Maureen. Then I will stop talking. NA NA NA NA NA!’ Does she always do this?

Um . . . yes. And it is slightly worse when her head is much bigger than yours, as I tried to demonstrate in my video from the other week. I am a little afraid of my huge Scarlett poster. Sometimes . . . at night . . . I think she moves. I am kind of afraid that I will wake up and find her right next to my sleeping face, her eyes level with mine, peeking over the pillow. And then I will turn around and find JK standing on the other side of the bed, holding a jellyfish in a jar and singing “Dancing Queen.”

You are not paranoid if they are really after you, you know.

katie h. said…
I forgot to tell you, just for future references, I am a different Katie from the one posting above me whose asking about raising 7 thousand dollars. (Poor you. You could use some cheer!) I am the Katie who told you about all of the fantabulous books I get to buy today. I put an H after my name so I won’t seem like a wacko who posts three times in a row.

Katie Holmes! Is that you? How did you get internet access??? Is this your way of asking us for help out of the compound, because I will put together a crack team within the hour!

DO NOT REPLY TO THIS DIRECTLY, Katie! Send us a sign through one of those creepy interviews you do, where you robotically talk about your constant state of joy and how Suri can communicate with dolphins and how Tom bought you your own mountain. Slip in the phrase, “Zac Efron ate my hamster,” and we will know you have received this communication. We will come in the night, when no one is watching. Have Suri ready and in silent mode.

We run the risk, of course, that Zac Efron has actually eaten your hamster and you might bring up this fact in an interview . . . I would if it happened to me . . . and you don’t even know about our offer. Although, I think it is a pretty safe bet that he hasn’t. I mean, why would he? Craft services on “High School Musical 3: The Great Space Coaster” can’t be that bad. Those movies look pretty cheap, but they have to feed the talent, right? Zac can’t be so hungry that he’s busting into seriously guarded houses to eat other people’s hamsters . . .

But, then again, celebrities are not like us. Since they can get everything they want, Zac may do it just for the thrill, like JK does when she breaks into my house and tries to take my jam. I can almost see him now, his little elfin face shining in the moonlight, as he shimmies up the side of your house, breaks through the window of the Rodent Room, grabs the closest hamster he can find and shoves it in his well-formed mouth . . . the tail slipping through that tiny gap in his perfect teeth.

So, we should have a second code that means, “Zac Efron actually did eat my hamster, but I still need rescuing.” If this is the case, please say, “Posh Spice ate my hamster.” Then we will know you are lying. Posh Spice doesn’t eat ANYTHING! If we hear this, we will come and get you AND will we have a new hamster waiting.

If Zac Efron has eaten your hamster, but you do NOT want to be rescued, please say, “Posh Spice ate my hamster, but promptly coughed it back up into a napkin and it is fine.”

Zac Efron: making due with pistachio ice cream until Ben and Jerry’s starts making Chunky Hamster Mash.

I hope to see you on the YA forum. But, as always, you are welcome here! And you still have a few days to get questions in!

Posted: Thursday, December 27th, 2007 @ 10:33 pm
Categories: Amazon, Suite Scarlett, Zac Efron, ask mj, hamsters.
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