ZOMBIE IDOL, ROUND TWO
UPDATE: VOTING HAS NOW CLOSED. PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR THE ZOMBIE IDOL FINAL, COMING TODAY!
The day has come, friends. The second round of Zombie Idol!
Your Celebrity Judges (one more time: Meg Cabot, John Green, Justine Larbalestier, E. Lockhart, and I) had a very, very hard time with this one. We read all night, debating the merits of this zombie and that zombie. We had to choose, but it was extremely difficult. THE ZOMBIES ARE GETTING BETTER.
In the end, each judge got a stack of zombies and had to choose one . . . so for every entry on this page, there is one Celebrity Judge standing behind it. I won’t say who picked what, but feel free to guess.
I predict some fierce voting.
But not another word! Let’s get right to it! It is time for YOU to vote.
Remember the roolz:
1. One vote per person, in the comments.
2. The voting closes in 24 hours. [CHANGE! The voting will be extended! You have today and Sunday as well. Continue voting!]
3. On Monday, the two finalist zombies will battle it out to be ZOMBIE IDOL!
The prize this round? The first OFFICIAL copy of Suite Scarlett. (Note: I don’t have this yet, but will soon. The winner of Round Two gets the first copy out of the box.)
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
C.C.
In the light on the sun, a little zombie curled up beneath its hyperbaric slumber chamber he bought in a garage sale from another zombie.
One Sunday night, the moon came out and POP! Out of the chamber came a little and very hungry zombie.
He decided to look for some food.
On Monday he ate my older brother’s brain. But he was still hungry.
On Tuesday he ate two annoying English teachers’ brains. But he was still hungry.
On Wednesday he ate three extras from Shaun of the Dead brains. But he was still hungry.
On Thursday he ate four jellyfish- they don’t have brains. But he was still hungry.
On Friday he ate five book banning parents’ brains. But he was still hungry.
On Saturday he ate one piece of brainalicious cake, a left kidney, a sliver of liver, one eyeball, one small intestine, one appendix, one glutinous maximus, a mega sized brain flavoured chupa chup and a glass of stomach bile.
Then he got a stomachache.
So he ate another book banning parents’ brain. He felt much better.
He then made a membranous cocoon and was inside for a couple of weeks. Then he made a hole and emerged as a very large, very hungry zombie with a strong preference for book banning brains.
The end.
Eat, Pray, Love
H. Ryan
I wish Giovanni would eat me.
Oh, but there are so many reasons why this would be a terrible idea. To begin with, Giovanni is dead, and — like most Italian zombies in their twenties — he still lives with his mother. These facts alone make him an unlikely devourer of me, given that I am a living American woman in my mid-thirties, who has just come through a failed marriage and a devastating, interminable divorce, followed immediately by a passionate love affair that ended in having my heart ripped out, much like that scene in Indiana Jones. This loss upon loss has left me feeling sad and brittle and about seven thousand years old – nearly as old as Giovanni’s mother. Purely as a matter of principle I wouldn’t feed my sorry, busted-up old self to the rotted, undead Giovanni. Not to mention that I have finally arrived at that age where a woman starts to question whether the wisest way to get over the loss of one beautiful brown-eyed young corpse is indeed to promptly be eaten by another.
“Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garbage Out” by Shel Silverstein
Danielle
Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout
Would not take the corpses out!
She’d chase the humans and groan out loud,
Be evil and kill all the bodies in a crowd,
And though her daddy would scream and shout,
She simply would not take the corpses out.
And so they piled up to the ceilings:
Leaking kidneys, no more feelings,
The ghostly sounds of human screams
And chunks of spleen.
They filled the can, they covered the floor,
They cracked the windows and blocked the doors
With skin rinds and broken bones,
Drippy ends of pancreas all alone,
Noses, stomachs, livers,
Enough to make humans fearfully shiver,
Ribs and hips,
Soggy eyes and cracked wrists,
Crusts of larynx ,
Grisly bits of pharynx. . .
The corpses rolled on down the hall,
They raised the roof, they broke the walls.
Greasy skin, teeth crumbs,
Globs of bloody gums,
Nerves from spines,
Rubbery blubbery intestines,
Hands, caked and dry,
Crusts of eyes,
Old colons, dried up guts,
Yellow lumps of brains and butt.
Zombie mouths eating human meat,
Cold and rancid feet.
At last the corpses reached so high
That they finally touched the sky.
And all the zombies moved away,
And none of her friends would come to play.
And finally Sarah Cynthia Stout said,
“OK, I’ll take the corpses out!”
But then, of course, it was too late. . .
The corpses reached across the state,
From New York to the Golden Gate.
And there, in the corpses she did hate,
Poor Sarah met an awful fate,
That I cannot now relate
Because the hour is much too late.
But zombies, remember Sarah Stout
And always take the corpses out!
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss
H. Garry
One Zombie
Two Zombie
Gray Zombie
Blue Zombie.
Black Zombie
Headless Zombie
Decrepit Zombie
Fresh Zombie.
This one likes to cut and mar.
This one can lift up a car.
Say! What a lot
of Zombies there are.
Yes some are gray.
And some are blue
Some are Decrepit.
And Some are fresh.
Some are sad.
But most are glad.
And they’re all so very very bad.
Why are they
sad and glad and bad?
I don’t know,
go moan to your zombie dad.
Some are withering.
Some like to cuss.
The cussing one likes
to lick yellow puss.
From there to here,
from here to there,
they massacre people
everywhere.
Here are some
that like to munch
they munch for fun
on humans that crunch
Oh me! Oh my!
Oh me! Oh my!
What a lot
of crunchy humans go by.
Some have two eyes
a lot have four.
Some have six fingers
and a few have more.
Where do they come from? I can’t say.
Coffins and graveyards
from along the way.
We see them come.
We don’t live to see them go.
They march in menacing lines
and they’re very very slow.
Being a zombie
can make you kind of low.
None of them is like another.
Don’t ask them why.
They’ll eat your mother.
Say!
Look at those bodies!
One, two, three…
Three bodies hanging
from that tree.
One two, three, four,
five, six, seven,
all of these zombies
in zombie heaven!
Zombie heaven!
This is something new.
I wish I could go to that
oxymoronic place too!
Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
P. Sims
Alice was beginning to get very tired of eating her sister’s brains on
the bank, and of having no-one else to eat: once or twice she had
tried to eat the book her sister had been reading, but it had no meat
or gristle in it, ‘and what is the use of a book,’ thought Alice
‘without Brains?’
So she was considering eating her own mind (as well as she could, for
being a zombie made her feel very hungry and stupid), and considering
whether the pleasure of eating daisy-brains would be worth the trouble
of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit
with pink eyes ran close by her.
There was nothing so very remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it
so very much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, ‘Oh
dear! Oh dear! A Zombie!’ (when she thought it over afterwards, it
occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the
time it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually took a
shotgun out of its holster, and cocked it, and then hurried on, Alice
started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never
gnawed the head off of a rabbit, and burning with hunger for brains,
she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to
see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.
That’s it! Put YOUR votes below! The clock is ticking! Gather the troops in support of YOUR FAVORITE ZOMBIE!
Posted: Friday, February 22nd, 2008 @ 7:35 pm
Categories: Suite Scarlett, zombie idol.
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