I’ve just returned from Texas, literally. Thank you to all who expressed concern about my pretzel poisoning. I seem to have come out of it okay. I slept off the unpleasant aftertaste, had many wonderful encounters with librarians and other authors, ate a lot of delicious nachos, and got home in one piece!

Now . . . it’ time for ASK MJ!

DEPARTMENT OF NO

anonymous said…
Would you ever try sky-diving? What do you think about that?

Hold on. I have my list of “Things I Won’t Do” right here. Let me have a look . . .

#14 Jam hand into beehive.
#15 Check out the source of “that weird noise” if accidentally stuck in horror movie.
#16 Ask Naomi Campbell if I can borrow her phone.

Ah. Here it is. Number seventeen. Skydive.

Listen, I don’t want to offend anyone here . . . but I have to wonder about anyone who tosses him or herself out of a doorway at 20,000 feet. I mean, you do see the flaw in that logic, right? Have you asked yourself, “What would Darwin do?”

It took us hundreds of years to solve the problem of flight. Flight is awesome! We have snacks and movies and everything! The only trick is STAYING ON THE PLANE. That’s it! We didn’t go to all the trouble of defying physics just so people could throw themselves out the door.

Some people will undoubtedly say, “But the adrenaline rush!” That adrenaline rush is there to KEEP us from killing ourselves. The adrenaline helps you run from the fire or the polar bear or the shark on a Segway or whatever is after you. I personally don’t need this kind of buzz. I get enough excitement. I have JK busting into my house every other day.

anonymous said…
Hey, my question is:
Are you actually gonna answer ALL of these questions above?

Um . . .

DEPARTMENT OF ABBA

anonymous said…
What would you say is your favorite ABBA song, at this moment at least? Cause I can never decide which one I like the best, and since you are an expert on all things ABBA I was hoping you might help me decide.

This question reminded me to check on my Abba museum countdown meter. Only 412 days to go until the BEST MUSEUM IN THE WORLD opens. I almost fainted when I read about the opening week activities. Just look at this!

Friday June 5, 2009
International ABBA Tribute Band Day. ABBA tribute bands from all over the world perform.

Saturday June 6, 2009
Sweden’s National Day – ABBA Style.

Sunday June 7, 2009
ABBA-rocks! Closing party with the next generation ABBA. Fireworks extravaganza.

OH. MY. GOD. An “Abba style” Sweden Day? An Abba party with fireworks? A whole day of Abba tribute bands? Who lives in Stockholm? Who wants to go with me?

What was the question again? I’m so woozy.

aella siofra said…
Do you think Abba actually chose their own outfits? or were they merely the victims of a horrible conspiracy?

I don’t understand this question. You seem to imply that there is something wrong with their outfits. All of the Abba outfits were carefully designed, and many will be at the museum!

Am I missing something? Is there a problem here?

ally said…
Why do I always do well on Pre-AP American History test where the multiple choice always have ABBA in them?

ABBA always helps in times of crisis. And DID YOU KNOW that Frieda (the dark haired one) is a princess? Her full name and title is Her Serene Highness Princess Anni-Frid Reuss, Countess of Plauen.

DEPARTMENT OF FOOD

danica/diamond d said…
Would you ever write a book based on the movie Footloose? Are you looking forward to the remake (with Zac Efron)?

Famous hamster-eater Zac Efron is going to star in a remake of Footloose? Why didn’t anyone tell me? What is THAT craft services table going to be like?

The Footloose Burger

crypt said…
I have a question:
What should I have for lunch? I don’t have any bread, I do have burgers and fishfingers, but my grill doesn’t work. I also have chocolate spread, mustard and eggs

Your choices seem limited to the last three items. I strongly support both the chocolate spread and mustard, but cannot get behind the eggs. I don’t like eggs. I wish I did, really . . . but I’ve never been able to eat them. Even the smell makes me hopelessly ill. Which is why I’m really wondering what joker added “I like eggs” to the list of my book titles on Wikipedia.

About your lunch . . . while I am perfectly content to eat mustard or chocolate spread right out of the jar, most people are not. And I’d offer you some of these cool chocolate cowboys that some Texas librarians gave me . . . but I got hungry when I got home and smashed them with a bowl and ate their heads.

ohholyhorcrux said…
What are your feelings on hummus?

Basically, hummus is to me what hamsters are to Zac.

DEPARTMENT OF READING MATERIALS

itokro said…
Is Suite Scarlett only out in America?

A while ago I tried to find your books in Britain – I visited every bookstore in Cambridge before being told they’d have to order them specially and get them shipped over from the US. And yet yesterday, in Guildford, I saw a copy of 13 Little Blue Envelopes just sitting on the shelf in the bookshop. Does this mean you are published here after all? Or is it just the magical effects of proximity to the London office?

Welcome to the bane of my existence, itokro. Aside from The Bermudez Triangle (of which I think 4 copies were printed), I have no books out in the UK. From what I’ve been told, the UK hates YA and has denied admission to many of us!

So I have NO EXPLAINATION for why there was a 13 Little Blue Envelopes on a shelf in Guildford . . . except that maybe someone in Guildford figured out that I am in Guildford ALL THE TIME, ordered an American copy, and put it there. Guildford is, after all, the location of the “London” office. Maybe Oscar did it. Or JK. Did you see any food wrappers around it?

Until the books are released there, I guess I have to offer my special Reading Service, where I come to your house and read your mj book of choice to you.

Do you require MJ Reader Services?

Caillie said…
i loved SUITE SCARLETT! remember me + Spencer= long lasting marrage only to be ended by one of the weasley twins, lol.

Spencer has been getting an awful lot of attention, even in these early days. I predict that he will be giving Keith Dobson a serious run for his money. But I can’t let you marry him if you’re just going to leave him. He’ll get all depressed and he won’t work anymore. Don’t break my characters, bro.

hannah said…
This is a very general question, but I was wondering who writes the blurbs for books?

Blurbs are usually quotes from other authors, but they can be from anyone, really. (Usually someone famous.) Like if Her Serene Highness Princess Anni-Frid Reuss, Countess of Plauen wanted to give me a quote . . . let’s stop. I can’t even think about that.

MJ 
my friend is currently extrimly mad @ u because 1 shes is not scarletts 11 2 you didn’t answer her “very nice” email so @ school we call you The-auther-that-cannot-be-named and its slightly annoying (sorry shaylaluna if ur reading this) so I suggest u answer that I wasn’t allowed to enter thanks to moi mother but I am begging you to sell the free alan rickman shirts also my friend and i are aginst borders because for my b day when you first said it was out(Im using small words cause I have issues spelling)she went to get it and they didn’t have please repliy to this :^)
karozoluvzu

I am always sorry to hear that I have failed one of you in some way, and I am certainly sorry to hear that I am “the author that cannot be named.” I’m like . . . Voldemort? Really? Let me see what I can do to address the problems.

First, sorry about your friend and Scarlett’s Eleven. This is the problem with running any kind of a contest. I knew it was going to be hard to pick eleven people. And I do my best to answer my e-mail . . . but things sometimes get a little out of control in MJ land. But I read every single one. Every. Single. One.

As for Borders not having the books out on the shelf when you went to get one, I am sorry about that, though I have no control over Borders. Borders is generally very nice when it comes to my books, and I like them a lot. I’ve heard from a few Borders people that they have opened the boxes and that Suite Scarlett is now out on the tables and shelves. So if you go back, it should be there!

I hope that you will now say my name again. I’m all stressed out now.

DEPARTMENT OF CONTESTS

Scholastic has told me that the INCREDIBLY AWESOME CONTEST that I’ve been telling you about for a while is scheduled to kick off on May 1st. I can confirm that the prize includes both NEW YORK CITY and ME. (You don’t get to keep either one . . . just to be clear.)

In the meantime . . . I have STUFF TO GIVE OUT! Starting NOW! In each of the next posts, I’ll be passing out some copies of Suite Scarlett and some awesome, limited edition, super-special SUITE SCARLETT SLEEP MASKS.

Today I am giving out one signed book and ten sleep masks.

TO WIN A SIGNED COPY OF THE BOOK: Leave a comment letting me know you don’t have a copy yet and you’d like one. I’ll draw a winner at random.

TO WIN A SLEEP MASK: Have you read Suite Scarlett? What did you think? Would you share your thoughts with everyone who hasn’t read the book yet? (Without dropping any spoilers, please. Spoilers will get deleted.) The first ten people to leave their mini-reviews in the comments win! (I realize that this means you have to have READ the book. Don’t worry . . . this is the only time that will be a factor!)

The deadline is WHENEVER I POST NEXT.

Posted: Friday, April 18th, 2008 @ 2:10 am
Categories: Abba, Suite Scarlett, Zac Efron, hamsters.
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