Okay, seriously. I don’t ever want to pack my suitcase again. I know some people like a vagabond life on the road, riding the rails and sleeping rough and eating stew out of a can . . . but I am done for now. I have bounced from London to Bologna to DAPHNE’S WEDDING, to Texas, to Philadelphia for the election . . . and now I want to stay in the New York office for a little while and update my blog and eat snacks.

In fact, I just bought these little mint chocolate Tofuti Cutie ice cream sandwiches tonight. I love mint chocolate Tofuti Cuties, but I rarely buy them. It took me a while to get them home, and they really should have gone in the freezer for a while, but I really, really wanted one. And you know that way you can sometimes eat when no one is watching and you have something you really, really want . . . even if that something is a Tofuti Cutie ice cream sandwich that has long passed the solid stage. I am, on the whole, fairly decorous . . . but I abandoned all that and ripped one of those soggy things out of the box and now I have mint chocolate Tofuti Cutie on every single part of my body, including my knee.

So I am not at my best tonight. But I want to get back on the blog train. There are many things to tell you! Daphne’s wedding! Adventures in the Democratic process! Other stuff! Like . . . the real release of Suite Scarlett and all the stuff that comes with it! I have days and days of blog in me—and I am BACK. So I will start tonight and KEEP THE BALL ROLLING!

I should, however, give out some stuff first and foremost. And at the end of this, I will give out more stuff. I was slightly overwhelmed by the number of people who want Scarletts. I looked over at my pile and said, “Erp.” But I will do all I can to distribute what I have, and the books should be IN ALL STORES within the week.

But! PRIZES!

The ten sleep masks are going to:

Reader Rabbit
Kelly-Kathleen
Katie
Larisa
Lightforms
Jenn H
Emily
JK
Caillie
. . . and one anonymous person who left a question about the dining room in the hotel, which I cannot really answer here without giving too much info away.

And the randomly chosen winner of a signed copy is NINA, who wrote about herself in the third person.

Please e-mail me your names and addresses so that I can send your prizes at once!

Now, when you get behind on your blog because you have been in a near-constant state of transit for weeks, you also get behind on your e-mail. So when I sat here tonight reading through some of your precious letters, I discovered MANY GEMS. Including this one, which I though you guys would like, from a guy named Charlie.

(Not charlieissocool—though I have spoken to that Charlie as well. When I was in England a few weeks ago, minding my own business and settling down in front of the television with tea and biscuit to watch a little mindless programming about people buying houses, which is 90% of all British television . . . Charlie’s head popped on to the screen and started talking. His head was HUGE. Turns out, Charlie is in a commercial for BBC3. But I wasn’t expecting to see him. It startled me. Tea went in the air. Biscuit rolled under the sofa. I recovered, got a new cup of tea and biscuit, sat back down, and then . . . MY FRIEND GRACE DANGEROUS APPEARED ON TV. It was her old commercial, back again. Scene was repeated with tea and biscuit, and I was left wondering why I knew so many people in England who wound up on television. Is EVERYONE in England on television? Also, you probably think I have serious problems with food now, and I am starting to think you are right. I wrote to Charlie and reported this incident, and he advised me to hold my tea with both hands.)

Anyway, not that Charlie. Different Charlie. This is the note Charlie sent to me several weeks ago:

I recently found out that the favorite book of this girl who I am starting to date was something called “Thirteen Little Blue Envelopes.” I was going to ask her to prom and wanted to ask her in a unique and creative way. I wanted to get to know her better, so I went out and bought your book. After reading the book, I came up with the perfect plan. I would create my own “Thirteen Little Blue Envelopes” and give them to her. I tried to follow what you did in the book, but I put my own spin on it. On each envelope, I put a direction as to when she needs to open that envelope. Inside each envelope is a special message to her or a date I have set up for the two of us. Dates ranging from going on walk on the beach, going to the zoo, or going to the theater. On the second envelope I put “Open Only When Told.” So I sent her a dozen roses and in the card that came with the flowers, it said to open up that envelope. In that letter I told her how I felt about her and asked her to prom. She of course loved everything and said yes. I gave her my copy of your book with the envelopes and now the book is being passed from junior to junior at my high school. So thanks to your writing, I was able to ask her to the prom in a spectacular way and do something for her that she probably will never forget. She’s keeping all of her friends updated on when she opens up each letter. She was ecstatic about everything!

What was that little pitter-patter in my chest? That was my heart growing EIGHT SIZES IN ONE DAY. How was this possible? How could I—notoriously the least romantic person in the tri-state area—inspire such an act of romantic wonderment?

I asked Charlie for more details, and he just sent me this excellent photo of he and his girlfriend at the prom. What an ad! I could have a whole career in setting up love matches! I could be the eharmony of YA!

I’ve exhausted myself now. I need another Tofuti Cutie. Those things are small. I will be back in a MUCH MORE TIMELY FASHION with all kinds of important news . . . including THE BIG CONTEST ANNOUCEMENT!

To enter to win today’s signed copy of Suite Scarlett, simply leave a comment like last time. All comments welcome! Is there something you feel I must report on now that I am back on the blogging wagon? Something you need me to know? Do YOU need my now-famous LOVE ADVICE? Whatever! Just leave a comment, and one will be picked COMPLETELY AT RANDOM.

Posted: Friday, April 25th, 2008 @ 4:56 am
Categories: Suite Scarlett, food, love advice.
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