ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF
Today is a big day for me, Twitter. Well, tomorrow is a big day . . . I am getting ahead of myself. Let us assume that by “today” I mean “tomorrow,” unless you are reading this at SOME FUTURE TIME, in which case you should read “April 26, 2011″ for “today.” That should clear things up. Anyway, today (tomorrow, or April 26, 2011) is (was) a big day for me because it marks the release of The Last Little Blue Envelope. It’s been a mighty SIX YEARS since the release of 13 Little Blue Envelopes. For SIX YEARS I’ve been sitting on the rest of the story. And now, all can be revealed.
This is the BACKGROUND of today’s post. See, anyone who has ever encountered me online at all knows I spend a lot of time on Twitter. It’s where I live. And just this morning, I got this tweet: “@ItsBenCracknell I once got your Tweets sent to my phone. Then it crashed due to the sheer velocity and abundance of them.”
I was utterly delighted by this! This is exactly the kind of thing I hope to accomplish! Now, here’s how this ties in with the release of The Last Little Blue Envelope. See, when you write a book, you have to write this CUTE LITTLE BIOS about yourself. Which I hate. I hate, hate, hate writing bios. I will walk a mile in tight shoes to avoid writing a few sentences about myself. And it’s not that I have some INHERENT SELF LOATHING or anything, it’s just . . . it’s WEIRD talking about yourself. It’s WEIRD listing what you’ve done. It’s weird trying to make a tiny paragraph about yourself to slap on things. It is for me, anyway.
So I got this tweet this morning, and I thought . . . that is EXACTLY what I want my bio to be like. So I went to my thinking place and had a little think.
My thinking place.
It occurred to me that the solution to this problem was quite simple: SOMEONE ELSE SHOULD WRITE MY BIO! If not my bio, then my tagline. My little branding statement (ho ho ho!) to the world. So I asked for some entries.
The entries were fine. Very fine indeed. So fine that I plan on including them in my site. But I have to give away one copy of The Last Little Blue Envelope to the person with the WINNING tagline, and for that, I need your help again. I need you to vote in the comments for YOUR FAVORITE.
Here we go:
3. Samisemicolon I used to be normal. Then I hit follow.
4. FlagHag Maureen is the kind of person who jokes about doing normal things and then seriously eats rocks.
6. RobinReads Maureen Johnson, like that crazy friend you had in middle school, only creepier.
7. chrisblackett @maureenjohnson: Because the men in white coats don’t catch them all.
8. TheShowerCiara @maureenjohnson: The YA version of Sweeney Todd.
9. vtraddict Many authors use Twitter to connect with fans. Maureen uses it to beat them into submission.
10. maryalicecfan Most people understand when they’ve reached the point of obsessive tweeting. Maureen does not.
11. MattyDaily Maureen Johnson: Named number one person to follow on Twitter. By people who can’t possibly have read her Tweets.
12. vtraddict If you only follow one person on Twitter, Maureen will make you think you’re following a hundred.
13. jsherr @maureenjohnson: Does for Young Adult fiction what Mad Men does for smoking and infidelity.
There you go. Thirteen EXCELLENT entries! Vote now! The winner will be announced tomorrow at NOON!
ALSO . . . I’ll be doing a LIVE BROADCAST tomorrow with LIBBA BRAY from 1:30-2:30 EST right HERE.
* Someone out there is going to point out to me that Advertisements for Myself is the title of a book by Norman Mailer. This is me telling you I already know, and I did that on purpose. ON PURPOSE! I got an MFA, you know. I am full of little tricks like this, like just taking the name of a book and slapping it up in the post header. It’s what Norman Mailer would have wanted. Now, there was a man who was okay with writing his own bio.