At LeakyCon, a young lady asked me how I dealt with bullying. I wasn’t able to give her a very good answer, which troubles me. Well, there were lots of shouts of “It gets better” and “Stay strong” and “We love you”. But when I put myself back in time to when I was being bullied, none of those things would’ve helped me. Yes, absolutely it does get better. But when you are being physically and psychologically tortured, it is difficult to remove yourself from the pressingness of the moment at hand. Here’s how I dealt with bullying: I cried, I hated myself, I hated my life. I didn’t deal with it, I survived it, but I never dealt with it. So here are two tips from someone with lots of experience. 1: It’s not about you, it has nothing to do with you, it’s about the assholes doing it to you. 2: Your job is not to deal with it, your job is to survive it, which you CAN do because it WILL end. And then yes, it will get better.

Hank Green (via secondary-aftermath)

Hank has said a smart. This is not uncommon.

But with bullies, he’s so right. IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU. I see so many online bullies now, people who basically go out every day with a bag full of hate—and it’s so clear that *they* have the problem, not the person they’re talking about.

Does it make it easier? Well, yes and no. Hang on to that knowledge that bullying is kind of a problem THEY have, that they are trying to INFLICT on you.