So, there has been some KOOKYPANTS adventures with the scheduling of the UK appearances … . it’s a long story that involves me, Prince Phillip, the Royal Mail, Jeremy Clarkson, seven spider monkeys, and His Royal Laminated Highness The King of Argos … but we have it all worked out now, and here is what I KNOW.

The main UK EVENT will be held at the King’s Road Waterstones in Chelsea on Saturday, 22 October, at 11am.

Anyone can come! EVERYONE MUST COME! It is 100% free, but they ask, if you CAN, to drop them an email and say if you are coming. IT IS OKAY IF YOU DO NOT SEND THIS EMAIL. You can come with as MANY PEOPLE AS YOU LIKE if you do not. They are asking this so they can TRY to get a headcount. And I will be getting CAKES, so I’m trying to get a rough estimate of how many CAKES to get.

There will also be PRIZES. I am bringing 50 MAGNET SETS and AS MANY T-SHIRTS AS I CAN GET IN MY SUITCASE. Plus, I think some COOL AND AWESOME people will be coming, so YOU HAVE TO COME. No, seriously. You have to come or they WILL NEVER LET ME COME BACK. I am counting on you.

There WAS a Manchester event on the books, but it exploded. The event, I mean. Not Manchester. Manchester is fine. I don’t know what went wrong. I don’t set up these events—I just get notes telling me what is going on. I will still be GOING to Manchester to visit some schools (including, according to my schedule, the Manchester School for Girls and the Turton High School Media Arts College). And at some point, we will GO INTO Waterstones so I can sign stock. I will try to tell people when I will be there that day (sometime after 1:30pm) and maybe you can RUN OVER and will will PARTY DOWN.

But the BIG THING is the London event, which is going to be a PARTY. So please come. Make friends. HANG OUT. Poke people with sticks! Wait … okay. Yes. Poke people with sticks! I AM COUNTING ON YOU AND BRINGING CAKE.